Letting my friends drag me down the street while a laid on a tarp probably wasn’t one of my smartest moments. Neither was letting my friend stand one the top of my car while I drove down the street. I guess these are the kinds of things that happen when you live with four boys. Not just four boys but your boyfriend, two of your best friends, and the guy who chose to move in at the last minute; his name is Big Sexy.
For those you who have experienced your twenties you know that stupid decisions happen, which end up being hysterical memories or those times you just don’t talk about. For those of you who haven’t come up to your twenties yet, just wait, you’ll see! I will say that I am still in my twenties but I’m now on the other side of the twenties where you are trying really hard to make better decisions for your future. Am I always successful? No! But I try really hard! Between the age of 18 to I’m going to say 23 my life revolved around having fun. In my opinion that’s a wonderful thing because life won’t always give you the opportunity to have fun, so jump at it while you can. I had, and still have, amazing yet stupid friends whom I have endless stories about. They’re the stories that we keep to ourselves because they definitely call our character and morality into questions – oh well.
These crazy boys and I experiences college together, renting a house together, moving away and coming back together, and so many other things that made up our friendships. Nearly ten years later we’re still friends and when we all get together those stupid things happen all over again. I will never be able to remember them all or perhaps even remember all the specific details. Either way these stories need to be told, here we go.
Introducing Big Sexy
This gentleman was someone that none of us knew quite well. At the time he worked at a pizza shop with my boyfriend and we happened to need a roommate. Enter Big Sexy. Today he is a father of two and a wonderful partner to Miss Big Sexy. But back then… who could have guessed he would be the first to raise little ones.
Let’s journey back to our first night together in our house. We lived on a student populated street, which at the time we didn’t know. That was until all the parties started popping up and we were like “Hey, this place seems like it could get real outta hand… Sweeeet!!” We decided that our first night would be filled with heavy drinking and exploring the neighbourhood, which also meant that the boys were on the prowl! Big Sexy and I shared the basement. The two rooms down there belonged to us and for some reason the wall that separated us did not go all the way to the ceiling. This meant that my sex life was also his and vise versa… weird. To this day whenever I smell lavender air freshener I think of Big Sexy. He always bought the same smell and he always sprayed it after smoking weed. Always without fail. It started on the first night and carried on until our last night together. On our first night we started at our house drinking large amounts of beer and whatever else we had on hand. Big Sexy came from living at home with his parents, if you can believe it judging by the name, and so he decided to hit it hard. He quickly started slurring his words and wanting to go out into the neighbourhood. Somehow, someway, I ended up going with him to wander the neighbourhood and look at the “talent” as he would say. We made it up the street a ways but never actually made it to another house. There were parties going on everywhere but for some reason we didn’t actually make it into one. Bid Sexy kept talking about how his car was the real talent. At the time I was like “oooook, you like your car to much.” Let me tell you that that was an understatement.
After stumbling around the block and coming back to our driveway Big Sexy proceeded to throw himself onto his car and declare his love for it. Keep in mind that it was a Chevy Cobalt, so nothing super special, but for some reason he thought it was the sexiest thing ever. Of course I’m laughing and letting him do his thing but then without any warning his pants get unzipped. He then proceeds to pop open the gas cap and attempt to stick his penis into the gas tank. I mean I guess his logic was that it was the only accessible hole at the time so why not try it? My first reaction was to laugh, my second reaction was to take a picture, and then my final reaction was to run inside and bring out as many people as possible to see what was taking place. This image of our friend literally trying to bone his car was too funny to miss. Everyone needed to see it and everyone did. To this day we call him Big Sexy and we will never let him forget the time he tried to bone his Chevy Cobalt.
That was our first night with Big Sexy. Spot on first impression.
Six years ago … judging by the arms, can you guess which one is Big Sexy haha!?!?!